In our hopelessly busy world setting aside time to talk is difficult. Yet, the most powerful tool for creating unity is a weekly financial date.
What is a financial date?
A financial date is simply time set aside for approximately half an hour each week to ask two questions.
“Where are we at?” “Where are we going?”
The purpose of a financial date is to maintain cash flow, not bring out the boxing gloves. It looks at where the money is going, not where it was spent. When we drive our eyes stay on the road ahead, even though we occasionally glance in the rear view mirror. A financial date has a similar function, using the past only as a means to move forward.
Avoiding the Fight
Conversations about money can lead to arguments. Financial dates are opportunities to be intentional, not destructive. There are some simple ways to avoid the fight.
- Set guidelines.
Determine the length of time, purpose and location of the date. On average the date will take about half an hour but determine a comfortable length for yourselves. Meet in places where you will be comfortable and not tempted to dishonour each other. If meeting at the local café prevents you shouting at one another, then do so.
- Don’t have a financial date after 9:00pm.
The same goes if you are tired, grumpy, angry or frustrated with other things going on in your life. Money reveals the attitude of the heart like no other tool. You will not be able to think rationally about money if you are upset or exhausted.
- Start with Prayer.
Start each date with bringing your concerns, anxiety and frustration before God. Reminding each other of the truly important will soften your heart towards one another before you begin making difficult decisions.
Communicate, Communicate, Communicate!
Each of us comes with our own ideas about money and your spouse is no different. Don’t forget to listen. Even if you do not agree with them, it is important to hear one another. Instead of jumping to conclusions and arguments take the time to see where their heart is. Fear of the future and external circumstances can cause tension and frustration. If we learn to listen, we may be surprised by their fears.
Don’t wait. Begin now, in this moment, to evaluate where your money is going and where you want it to be.