Wedding season is just around the corner and at More than Enough we love meeting with couples as the wedding day approaches. Many meetings helped us develop a Financial Dating Guide which centers around the 9 dates to have before your wedding day!
Financial Dating 101
What do you need?
A Transparent Attitude
Come willing to listen and understand your partner. Money and finances can be contentious so allow yourselves the grace to explain and explore difficult questions together.
Time
Don’t rush these conversations. Allow yourself and your partner the ability to devote as much time as is needed to these important conversations.
Willingness to Listen
Come willing to listen and understand your partner. These conversations aren’t designed to shame your partner for past mistakes, but simply understanding the true state of each other’s heart and financial situation.
Date #1: What are your dreams?
This will be a fun date! Explore with your partner what ignites you and where you see yourselves as a couple and as individuals. Many of these questions you will already have answered but this is always a good opportunity to refresh what inspires and ignites you.
Questions to Get You Started:
- Where do you see us in five years? How about ten years?
- Do you want kids?
- Where do you want to live?
- What is God calling you to and what is your greater purpose in life?
- What are your dreams?
Date #2: What are your financial goals?
Closely related to the first date, tonight you will explore the practical side to your dreams. Do you want to retire early, travel or start your own business? All of these things impact the financial future of your marriage.
Questions to Get You Started:
- How do you feel about paying for your children’s education?
- Do you plan to work or do you want to stay home with the kids?
- Are you an entrepreneur and do you plan on starting a business?
- By what age would you like to achieve financial independence?
- When would you like to retire?
Date #3: Are you a saver or a spender?
At this point the dates can become more strained. Remember both the spender and the saver are important and one is not ‘better’ than the other. Arguing and reminding your partner of past behaviours is not constructive. Chose to listen and remember this conversation may be difficult but it is important.
Date #4: What are the necessities and what are the luxuries?
For some it’s cable, for others it’s coffee. When two people combine their financial lives and futures it is important to determine what factors are non-negotiable. This is an opportunity to hear your partner, not hold the things they find valuable against them. By creating realistic expectations you will avoid major disappointments and miscommunications later on.
Date #5: What are your assets?
What are each of you bringing to the marriage? Houses, cars, money all are important assets which will move from ‘mine’ to ‘ours.’ It is important to understand how each of you feel about merging your assets together and trying to move away from the mine-yours mindset which often causes tension in marriage. The truth is, you are in this together and marriage joins our dreams and our money together.
Date #6: How about debt?
This conversation is very closely related to the last date. When discussing assets, the next logical step is understanding your liabilities. Quite typically one person will carry more debt than the other and this can cause tension as their debt becomes yours. This conversation may require additional expertise and our coaches are happy to walk through a Financial Health Assessment with you to show you available options. You can contact them here.
Questions to Get You Started:
- How do you feel about credit cards?
- Do you pay your credit card bill off every month or do you let it carry a balance?
- What is our repayment plan?
Date #7: How is your credit rating?
This may seem like a strange conversation but as you prepare to join your dreams, assets and liabilities it is important to consider credit rating. Since your credit rating impacts your ability to buy a home, being honest about your credit history ensures there are no unpleasant surprises later! This is also a great opportunity to review your credit report for any inaccuracies.
Credit reports can be purchased online at http://www.consumer.equifax.ca/home/en_ca.
Questions to Get You Started:
- Do you pay your bills on time?
- What is your credit score?
- If your credit is damaged, are you working to repair the credit?
Date #8: Do you have a spending plan?
At More than Enough, we exchange budgets for spending plans. In starting your married life, it is absolutely imperative to have a spending plan which you have decided on together. There are hundreds of online tools including Mvelopes and YNAB. Alternatively a simple spreadsheet or a scrap of paper are equally effective. This conversation ties your dreams into the practical moment by moment living. If you don’t know where to start with creating a spending plan, contact our office or come to the Financial Fitness Seminar!
Questions to Get You Started:
- Have you had a spending plan (or budget) in the past?
- What tools did you use?
- What categories were included in your spending plan?
- What will we prioritize? What are our non-negotiables?
- When and how often will our financial date be?
Date #9: How will we manage our money to achieve our long term goals?
This goes back to the first few conversations which explored your long term goals. This last conversation centers around how you can practically ensure these goals are achieved and prioritized. You may be more willing to sacrifice your cable package if it means you will be able to buy a home!
Questions to Get You Started:
- What age would you like to retire? What does that mean practically?
- If we are buying a home, when do we want to have it paid off?
- What is our plan for traveling?
- Are we paying for our children’s education?
- Do we want to leave our kids with an inheritance?