So, what’s your story? Our life is FULL of story. We speak in story, think in story, live in story. John Eldredge in his book Epic says this about life and story:
Life doesn’t come to us like a math problem. It comes to us the way that a story does, scene by scene. You wake up. What will happen next? You don’t get to know—you have to enter in, take the journey as it comes. The sun might be shining. There might be a tornado outside. Your friends might call and invite you to go sailing. You might lose your job.
Life unfolds like a drama. Doesn’t it? Each day has a beginning and an end. There are all sorts of characters, all sorts of settings. A year goes by like a chapter from a novel. Sometimes it seems like a tragedy. Sometimes like a comedy. Most of it feels like a soap opera. Whatever happens, it’s a story through and through.
Life is a story. Your life is your story. And at More Than Enough we talk a lot about your story, especially your “money story”.
Money story: A money story is the story of your financial heritage, your family’s financial decisions, and your own financial decisions that affect your financial experiences today. Your money story is the story of the circumstances, beliefs and practices that have shaped how you feel about money, how you deal with money, and how you spend or save, give or keep the resources at your disposal. Your money story is in essence a foundation stone of where you are standing today, and what you believe about money, and how you use it.
On a recent episode of “Let’s Talk Money with Dave and Reb” we talked about knowing and understanding your money story as a point of reference for understanding how you are spending money today. Dave and I encouraged listeners to write out their money stories and share them with their spouses, families and friends as part of gaining that knowledge and understanding.
But where do you start?
There are any number of ways you can write your story, but here is a simple guideline to follow.
Step 1:
Name at least three to five “Core Memories” (Significant Experiences) you have had with money.
Step 2:
Examine Your Story. Go back and examine what made each of these experiences so significant.
- Was it about receiving a large sum of money or spending a large sum?
- Was it a “money mistake”?
- Was it something you pursued and achieved or something that just happened to you?
Step 3
Summarize: Finally, pull it all together and summarize how you see these experiences influencing your thinking and behaviour around money.
Here’s an example from Dave’s money story:
Step 1: My parents emigrated from Holland to Canada with three children and nothing else (My brother and I were born after they came to Canada.) My parents never talked about money in front of me — they were very private when it came to money.
Step 2: We never seemed to run out of money. Looking back, it was likely that we might because we were a big family. We lived simply: clothes were handed down and passed around. I don’t think I received a new pair of pants until I moved away at the age of 18, but I really did not care as I did not feel deprived. Being Dutch, there seemed to be two things that I “caught” in our home. First, anything that needed fixing my dad seemed to be able to do. Second, interest was something you collected NOT paid. It just did not make sense to me that anyone would pay interest. I would rather wait and pay cash than pay interest; there just were not that many things I wanted that badly.
Step 3: For me, living simply, avoiding interest, working hard for regular consistent income, and being on the same financial page as my wife before money was spent, became huge life-lessons that continue to influence my money decisions.
For me, this means praying about money decisions and waiting until my wife and I are agreed on a decision. This has created a confidence, that even though we may make mistakes along the way, we are united in our finances.
Your story is important.
And if you don’t want to write it down? At least take the time to talk with your spouse or friend about the money story that shapes your life. You may discover something new you haven’t known before!
Rebecca van Noppen is co-owner of More Than Enough Financial. She is a blogger, communicator, and MTE Coaching Care Director, and co-hosts the weekly radio show and podcast “Let’s Talk Money with Dave and Reb”. You can contact her at rebecca@morethanenough.ca.