By Lynette Bloedow
Our friends and financial coaches Tim and Lynette Bloedow have been having financial dates for years. They started these intentional financial meetings as part of their own financial coaching journey. Read Lynette’s perspective on the importance of these dates.
Definition
A Financial Date Night is a dedicated weekly date on your calendar, where you and your spouse commit to tracking your current expenses, so that your eight-week spending plan is predictable and measurable.
The Benefits
A safe place/time to discuss money
We experienced a stressful relationship when we had constant financial problems. Finances were discussed ‘on the fly’ — anyday, anytime, anywhere. Money issues were raised at the end of a long and tiring workday, at the dinner table, just before bed, or if there was a “perceived” urgent and immediate need, or if one person spent on something without telling the other.
Consistency and self-discipline
Once we committed to following the system, we gave it our 100 percent. We had to take certain steps to change our bad, conflict-producing habits.
- We each collected our receipts every day for one week until Friday night.
- We had cut up all of our credit cards but one. We had agreed for Tim to take out the allotted amount of cash from the bank on Wednesday night or Thursday for the line items we previously committed to having in envelopes. That included groceries, hairdressing and toiletries, as well as pocket money.
- Together, we went through each line item and inputted the figures in our online spending plan tool, which was based on our receipts.
- We learned to discuss anticipated changes and any financial concerns ONLY at that time. If anything came up during the week for any of us, and we were tempted to start a discussion spontaneously, we would each remind the other that we promised to discuss financial issues on Friday nights.
- Many conflicts have been averted by committing to our Date Night discussions. We often had the promise of an ice-cream at Dairy Queen following our date.
Peace of Mind and Growing Trust
After seven years of following the system, we have Financial Date Nights once or twice a month. The system is on autopilot. The reason we had all those conflicts in the beginning is because we did not trust the way the other person was handling the finances. If a person is honest, they may discover and admit that they don’t trust the spending habits of his or her spouse. This is a big part of financial conflict.
Tim and I aren’t perfect, but I proudly tell others that these are the best years of our 30 years of marriage, as we live in peace, and grow in trust together. It is also nice to know that our financial coach is always available to help us with advice should there be unexpected and difficult circumstances.